The Man Who Chose to Show Up
Sometimes spiritual fatherhood begins with something as simple as choosing to be present.
There was no dramatic rescue. No cameras were waiting. There was no extraordinary moment that suddenly changed everything. There wasn't even a video that went viral. There was simply a man who chose to show up.
When Cruz was around ten or eleven years old, he was connected with John through Big Buddy, a New Zealand organization that pairs boys growing up without a father present with carefully selected and trained men who serve as mentors. The idea is simple: spend time together, listen, walk alongside them and, above all, be present.
That is exactly what John did. Every week, they found something to do together. Sometimes they went bowling. Other times they worked with tools or tackled projects together. There was no elaborate discipleship program and no great speeches. It was simply two people sharing life. Week after week. Year after year. And while they were seemingly doing ordinary things, something extraordinary was happening: a relationship built on trust was taking shape.
The Influence of Being Present
Cruz is now 21 years old. He works as an electrical technician and is the father of a young child. Looking back, he recognizes that his relationship with John changed his perspective and gave him a solid foundation as he entered adulthood. John became someone Cruz could talk to, open his heart to, and turn to for guidance when life became difficult. What began as a mentoring relationship developed into a bond that continues today.
Here we find a truth the church needs to recover: a boy or girl may have many instructors and still need a spiritual father.
The apostle Paul expressed it clearly: “Even if you had ten thousand guardians in Christ, you do not have many fathers” (1 Corinthians 4:15). Paul understood that there is a difference between communicating information and helping form a life. A teacher can explain the truth. A spiritual father walks beside you as you learn how to live it.
Commitment Reflects Christ.
We live in a culture that expects quick results. We want programs that produce change, conferences that transform men, and studies that solve problems. All of those tools can be valuable. But spiritual formation rarely happens quickly.
Jesus Himself demonstrated this principle. He called twelve men and shared His life with them. They walked together. They ate together. They watched Him serve, teach, confront, forgive, and pray. Their formation took place as they remained close to Him.
Paul did something similar with Timothy. He called him his “true son in the faith” (1 Timothy 1:2). Paul did not merely teach Timothy doctrine; he invested his life in him. Then Paul gave Timothy a remarkable instruction: “The things you have heard me say... entrust to reliable people who will also be qualified to teach others” (2 Timothy 2:2).
Notice the progression: Paul → Timothy → faithful people → others. Four spiritual generations. That is what it means to transform generations.
Who Needs You to Keep Showing Up?
The story of John and Cruz should lead us to an uncomfortable but necessary question: Is there a young person in your church who simply needs a father figure to be present?
Perhaps he/she has a mother who is doing an extraordinary job, but his/her father is absent. Maybe he/she is being raised by his/her grandparents. Perhaps the father is physically in the home but emotionally or spiritually distant.
Not every young person needs someone to try to replace his or her father. In fact, the philosophy behind John's mentoring program centers on friendship, support, and the provision of a positive male role model. But many young people do need a mature man whose actions quietly communicate, “I'm here. You can talk to me. Let's walk together.”
That, too, is part of being a father figure—of becoming a spiritual father. It does not necessarily require a title, a pulpit, or a formal program. It can begin over a cup of coffee, while working on something together, while playing a sport, while studying the Bible, or simply while listening. Influence begins with presence.
Living 24:15
There is something especially beautiful about Cruz's story. The boy who once needed a positive male role model is now a man holding his own child in his arms. John's influence has reached another generation.
We may never know how many conversations, ordinary afternoons, or seemingly small pieces of advice helped shape the man Cruz has become. But that is precisely the nature of fatherhood. We often plant seeds without knowing when—or even whether—we will personally see the fruit. And here we encounter the Gospel. Our ability to walk alongside others begins with recognizing that God first came near to us. He did not remain distant. He sought us, received us by grace, and made us His children through Jesus Christ. Now He calls us to make disciples and invest our lives in others.
Perhaps transforming generations does not always begin with a great program, a large platform, or an extraordinary strategy. Sometimes it begins when one man decides to show up in the life of a boy or girl and, through faithful presence, reflects the heart of our Heavenly Father. That, too, is Living 24:15.
